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It’s as if this guy is carting around a cemetery of all the women he’s ever been involved with or who have expressed an interest in him. All of this carry-on is reassurance that they’re not shady and is about maintaining illusions.
The pursuing of ‘friendship’ which may be little more than lots of messaging, is about getting harem members to forget their own feelings so that they can stroke his/hers and assuage them of their guilt.
They’re also deterrents that tend to keep potential new partners at bay or are disruptive if it progresses.
Even the most secure people in the world would feel rattled by going out with someone who spends most of their time juggling their exes including ex love interests.
When it’s genuine friendship, this is self-evident and unforced. It’s not baggage because the friendships are not being carted around as a way to avoid letting go and/or as symbols to reassure the ego.
This guy collects exes, love interests that he’s turned down as well as becoming friends with the exes of his friends.People who collect exes and who in fact collect ‘supply’ are what I’ve joked are ‘haremologists’.If a person collects attention but is pretty indiscriminate about it and doesn’t have a harem per se (like people who trawl for attention on introduction ‘dating’ sites, Facebook et al), they’re more of an attentionphile.A lot of people are friends with an ex or two although plenty aren’t.It’s not a badge of honour to be friends with your ex and it doesn’t make you a Good Girl/Guy.
They do it because they want to meet a suitable partner for marriage. They don't have a different type of character, and they also love shopping and chatting.